The Bowes-Lyon and Fane Cousins - Hidden Away
Through most of history being disabled meant that just existing was an accomplishment. Just living your life was the best you could hope for. This is especially true for those who were intellectually disabled. Like today, they were incredibly vulnerable. They usually were institutionalized, sometimes from birth, and shut away from society. The story today is about five cousins who would have been forgotten if not for their royal connections. Even so, most information and photos I could find are about two of them, Nerissa and Katherine Bowes-Lyon, while the other three, Idonea, Rosemary, and Etheldreda Fane, are afterthoughts.
Nerissa and Katherine, undated
Because this story involves members of the British aristocracy, the names are long and hyphenated. For ease of remembering names and relationships, I included a family tree, created by blogger Rachael Dickzen. The women we will be discussing are marked with green asterisks.
Family tree created by Rachael Dickzen
Nerissa Jane Irene Bowes-Lyon was born in England on February 18, 1919 to John "Jock" Herbert Bowes-Lyon and his wife Fenella (née Hepburn-Stuart-Forbes-Trefusis). Her sister, Katherine Juliet, was born on July 4, 1926. Jock had been a stockbroker in London before fighting and losing a finger in World War I. He then served in the Ministry of Munitions and the Territorial Army before returning to his job after the war's end. In 1920, he was appointed a deputy lieutenant, a Crown appointment, of Forfarshire, Scotland. Though Jock admitted to suffering from a nervous breakdown in 1912 and "neurasthenia" (an old term describing fatigue, nervousness, and weakness), there were no indications that their children were at risk of disorders.
The two girls were the third and fifth daughters of Jock and Fenella. Their first had died in infancy, but two others, Anne and Diana, lived until the 1980s, married, and had children. Upon her second marriage in 1950, Anne even became Princess of Denmark. Through their father, they were related to royalty. At the time of Katherine's birth, Jock's sister, Elizabeth, was recently married to Prince Albert, Duke of York, the son of the reigning King George V. Prince Albert's first daughter, the future Queen Elizabeth II, was born only 75 days before her first cousin Katherine.
Fenella and daughters Anne & Nerissa, 1920
Both Nerissa and Katherine were "severely mentally disabled." They were said to be nonverbal and have mental ages around three, four, or six years old (sources varied). Nerissa made "unintelligible noises all the time and can say a few babyish words." Their conditions were not unique in their family tree. Fenella's sister, Harriet, also had three daughters, out of her six living children, with similar disabilities. Idonea Elizabeth Fane was born in 1912, Rosemary Jean in 1914, and Etheldreda Flavia in 1922.
Fenella Bowes-Lyon, undated
Harriet Fane, 1922
Given the times, these aristocratic families would have kept all of this a secret. The girls most likely always remained at home, cared for by servants. Eventually Fenella had to face this challenge alone: her husband Jock died of pneumonia in 1930. He was only 44 years old. Fenella was left a widow at age 40 with four daughters aged twelve and under, two of whom were disabled. Even though she lived a life of immense financial and social privilege, hers was a journey of isolation and grief.
The world changed quickly for the families after this. With King Edward VIII's abdication of the British throne in 1936, Nerissa and Katherine were now the nieces of the new King and Queen, George VI and Elizabeth (who later became famous as "the Queen Mother"). In 1938, their sister Anne married and became a Viscountess. She had two children over the next three years. And, in 1939, World War II (officially) began ravaging Europe, Africa and Asia. The following year, Harriet's son died at aged 29 while fighting in Belgium.
Fenella and Harriet, as sisters facing similar situations, most likely were each other's confidantes. By 1941, both women were in their fifties with adult (or nearly so) daughters with significant disabilities. The sisters made a plan together and decided they could no longer care for their daughters. On the same day in 1941, all five were admitted to The Royal Earlswood Institution for Mental Defectives in Surrey, England. Nerissa was 22 and Katherine 15. Their cousins, Idonea, Rosemary, and Etheldreda, were 29, 27, and 19, respectively. They were classified as "imbeciles." This term applied to people with moderate to severe intellectual disability, described as having a "mental age" of 3-7 years old and an IQ of 25-50.
We do not know much about these women's lives at this institution. Earlswood, built in 1847, was the first facility specifically for the mentally disabled and, while they appear not to have been wildly neglected, their lives were most likely not happy. In a 2011 documentary, nurses and relatives of former inmates remembered the hospital as "regimented and devoid of fun." Wards of up to 40 people were cared for by two nurses. One nurse said, "You gave them a bath, cut their nails, fed them if they needed help." Earlswood was also criticized for sanitation problems, overcrowding, and under-staffing.
The Royal Earlswood Hospital, 1987
Much of the scandal about Nerissa and Katherine focuses on the perception that, once institutionalized, their families acted as if they were dead. This has a foundation because of the 1963 edition of Burke's Peerage, a book devoted to the genealogy of the British aristocracy. In this book, Nerissa and Katherine were both listed as deceased, allegedly dying in 1940 and 1961, respectively. A ward sister summarized their situation best: "The impression I had was that they'd been forgotten." This was, unfortunately, common. It was "fairly standard practice all those years ago. People went into long-stay mentally handicapped hospitals, and to all intents and purposes, they were dead," according to an interview with a representative of their niece, Lady Elizabeth.
Were these women visited by family? In 1987, a general manager from the East Surrey Health Authority did say that they had regular visits from their families up until the early 1960s when one of their closest relatives died. Since then, they have had few visitors. "My understanding is that Katherine had no regular visitors," said a nurse. In almost 45 years, there was no official record of any relatives visiting the sisters. Another hospital representative said, "[Katherine] was last visited, so far as I'm aware, by direct relatives in the early 1960s." Fenella passed away in 1966, while Harriet had died in 1958 (her husband had died in 1947), so my guess is that no one visited the cousins once their mothers had died.
Portrait of Fenella, 1909
Allegedly, the women never received any birthday or Christmas cards or gifts. They never received money of their own, though Earlswood was paid £125 per year (almost $10,000 in 2023) for their care. The cousins' maternal grandfather, the 21st Baron Clifton, also financially contributed to their care before his death in 1957.
Family members who have commented publicly on the situation have disputed that the cousins were intentionally forgotten. Nerissa and Katherine's niece, Lady Elizabeth Shakerley, claimed that "far from being a taboo subject, Katherine and Nerissa were very much a part of the family as sisters of [my] mother, the late Princess Anne of Denmark." Another source said,
“Both Katherine and Nerissa were visited very regularly by their family but neither could speak, and throughout their lives had the thinking age of four years old. They were unable to recognize visitors, often becoming hugely distressed as they struggled to work out who was with them. They also both regularly received presents, especially at Christmas... Neither sister knew who the presents were from but they enjoyed the moment of receiving a lovely gift.”
Lady Elizabeth also issued a statement to the Sunday Express saying that, "Lady Elizabeth's grandmother, the Hon Fenella Bowes-Lyon, Her Majesty The Queen Mother's sister-in-law, visited her daughters on a regular basis. Indeed, it is clear that she was the only person whom they recognized. Others did visit but it seems that both ladies were distressed, if not terrified, by such visitors and the nurses asked the family gently if these could be discontinued."
Because of the women's disabilities, it is impossible to know how much of this is true or what they understood about their famous relatives. Nerissa and Katherine would stand to salute or curtsy deeply to the Queen and Queen Mother during televised broadcasts of royal weddings and funerals. A nurse later commented, "I remember pondering with my colleague how, if things had been different, they would surely have been guests at the wedding." A hospital administrator claimed that Katherine had no knowledge of her royal connections.
Allegedly, the Queen Mother, their aunt, was unaware of the sisters' situation until 1982 upon receiving a letter from the "hospital's league of friends." Once learning their location, she sent them an amount of money: one source claimed only a small check to them "to pay for sweets" and another claimed "a four-figure sum of money so birthday and Christmas presents could be given annually to the cousins." She became a Patron of Mencap, a charity for people with learning disabilities, beginning in 1986. An episode of The Crown (more on that below) imagines that she did know the entire time that they were not dead: "My family, the Bowes-Lyons, went from being minor Scottish aristocrats to having a direct bloodline to the crown, resulting in the children of my brother paying a terrible price. Their illness, their idiocy and imbecility would make people question the integrity of the bloodline. Can you imagine the headlines if it were to get out?"
Rosemary Fane died in 1972 at the age of 58. Nerissa died at age 66 in 1986. No relatives attended her funeral. She was buried at the local Redstone Cemetery, marked only with plastic tags and a serial number. Her sister, Anne, had died in 1980, and their sister, Diana, died just four months after Nerissa. The Fane sisters' remaining two siblings died in the 1990s.
Nerissa's original grave marker
The following year, in 1987, their situation became public knowledge. A reporter from The Sun, disguised as a relative of Katherine's to visit her, revealed the truth. He put her picture with the headline blaring on the Monday morning front page: "Queen's Cousin Locked in Madhouse." (Click here for a TV segment from the Thames News at the time.) Katherine, then 61, was described by a hospital administrator as "an elderly, frail old lady, one who finds it very difficult perhaps to understand this sort of thing [and] what's going on in the world around. She's really little more than a child." Staff described her as "alert... She understands what she's being told, but she only communicates [with] pointing, noises, and smiles. She is severely mentally handicapped, but has no physical disabilities." Nerissa and Katherine were also described as "frightened does."
Katherine, 1987: the photo plastered across front pages
The public was outraged at the royal family's perceived callousness toward their own relatives. People from all over Britain sent Katherine flowers. The Burke's Peerage publishing director was "thunderstruck" to learn of the mistake in the 1963 edition. Once the knowledge of the women was public, their nephew and two nieces, by then in their twenties and forties, organized a headstone for their aunt Nerissa. The Queen was also made aware of the article, but had no comment. A representative simply said, "It's a matter for the Bowes-Lyon family."
Nerissa's new gravestone, organized by her nieces and nephew
At the time when Katherine was discovered, Gerard Fane-Trefusis, Lord Clinton rejected the idea of a family cover-up in the press. He claimed that his great-aunt Fenella was just a "vague person" and "often did not fill out forms completely that Burke's Peerage sent her." He said, "She was an elderly lady at that time. These forms come in every year or so and I imagine it was filled in wrongly or wasn't filled in at all." This is technically possible but unlikely, as specific death dates for her daughters were even listed.
At the time of the article, Katherine's cousins Idonea and Etheldreda Fane were still alive as well. Dr. David Danks, who had founded the Murdoch Children's Research Institute the year before, theorized that there was some genetic disorder in the Hepburn-Stuart-Forbes-Trefusis family, probably descended from their common maternal grandfather, Charles Trefusis, 21st baron Clifton, that killed male children early in childhood and left the females intellectually disabled. One archived Reddit thread speculated Fragile X Syndrome, Rett Syndrome, or Angelman Syndrome (which is what my sister has). I know the characteristics and look of AS well and, after looking at their photos and descriptions, the best I can say is: it's definitely possible. In my mind, I will probably think of these women as having AS, to personally contextualize their story. It is unlikely that we will ever know for certain.
The 21st Baron Clifton, 1927
The hospital, which had joined the National Health Service in 1948 and been renamed to the Royal Earlswood Hospital, went into decline in the 1990s. At that point, Britain was pushing for Care in the Community, a policy of deinstitutionalization. The hospital closed in March 1997 and the site redeveloped for residential use. There was also a Royal Earlswood Hospital Museum that operated until 2012. Currently the grounds are luxury apartments and a gated community with its own golf course.
The year before closing, Katherine and Idonea (Etheldreda had died that year at the age of 74), were moved to Ketwin House care home in Surrey. The hospital administrator of Earlswood had contacted the Queen and the Queen Mother to inform them of the shutdown and impending move, but both declined to take a meeting discussing Katherine's future. Buckingham Palace released no comment.
In 2000, a Telegraph article appeared with the headline "Queen's cousin in 'sub-standard' care home." Ketwin House, which housed nine residents, was criticized for "poor staffing levels, insufficient safety checks and the inappropriate treatment of residents...Key concerns were the handling of some vulnerable female residents by male care staff, as well as a lack of proper controls over the handling of patients' finances. Inspectors were shocked to find that a male member of staff was bathing a female resident and there was also criticism that the lack of locks on some toilet doors was leading to frequent invasions of privacy." The 1999 report had also highlighted "management issues" and urged Prospect Housing Association to make several changes to the care home. A board member assured the reporter that the problems were being corrected. She also commented on Katherine's situation, "A lot of fuss is made over the fact that the Queen Mother hasn't contacted her. But how often are people really in contact with their niece or cousin? I can assure you that this lady is very happy with the level of care provided by the home." Ketwin House closed in 2001 and the two cousins were moved to another care home in the same county.
Idonea died in 2002, at age 90. Katherine also lived a long life: she died on February 23, 2014 at the age of 87. She was described by a care worker: "She's a lovely person. She loves to watch TV, especially royal weddings. She could really have prospered but instead she's been left to vegetate." Another nurse said, "It was so sad. Just think of the life they might have had. They were two lovely sisters. They didn't have any speech but they'd point and make noises, and when you knew them, you could understand what they were trying to say. Today they'd probably be given speech therapy and they'd communicate much better. They understood more than you'd think." The royal family has still never publicly acknowledged Nerissa and Katherine's existences.
Katherine's grave
Three years before her death, Channel 4 aired a documentary (available through this Reddit post) about Katherine and her sister: The Queen's Hidden Cousins. The synopsis states, "Whilst their sisters [Diana] and Anne enjoyed lives of privilege and inclusion in the upper echelons of the aristocracy, Katherine and Nerissa were all but forgotten, written out of family history." The director, Kelly Close, hoped to contextualize "the changing attitudes to learning disability in British society over the twentieth century." Allegedly they had reached out to the Bowes-Lyon family to participate in the documentary, but they had declined. After its broadcast, Nerissa and Katherine's niece, Lady Elizabeth, vehemently disputed the documentary's assertions, calling it "cruel" and "intrusive." Allegedly Queen Elizabeth II was "hugely distressed" by it. "The Queen is very, very upset at the thought that this program is being made which is just not true," claimed another source.
After the broadcast, the reviewer from The Guardian stated that "All we learned was just common knowledge." He observed that it was only Nerissa's 1986 death that sparked brief tabloid interest the next year, though no one even bothered to find out why they had been placed in care in the first place. "This was the one part of the story that was genuinely still a mystery." One article observed that the sisters were institutionalized just a few years after King Edward VIII's abdication, which meant that the children of a Bowes-Lyon were in the direct line of succession. However, any connection between the abdication and institutionalizing these five cousins is only speculation.
Nerissa and Katherine's story was also dramatized in the fourth season of Netflix's The Crown, in which they even cast real actors with disabilities, which in itself is extraordinary. In this 2020 episode, Queen Elizabeth's sister, Princess Margaret, discovers and then visits her cousins at Earlswood. She even confronts her mother (leading to the quote above), who also says, "The hereditary principle already hangs by such a precarious thread. Throw in mental illness and it’s over. The idea that one family alone has the automatic birthright to the Crown is already so hard to justify. The gene pool of that family better have 100 percent purity.” And, as the Queen Mother points out, it doesn't: she cites King George III and Prince John (a previous blog post) as examples of genetic "impurity" already present and known in their family. Margaret wrestles with all of this amidst her own mental illness in therapy, concluding that "what my family did was unforgivable." While entirely fictional, this episode once again brought these women's story to public attention.
Trudie Emery & Pauline Hendrickson portraying Katherine & Nerissa on The Crown, 2020
The story of these five women is one that was told thousands of times over the last several centuries. Their mothers cared for them as long as they could, thanks in part to their wealth and the support of each other. Finally, they had to surrender to the inevitable: it was time to put their daughters into an institution. It seems like Fenella and Harriet visited them while they could but, once they died, the women were forgotten. We don't know why Fenella chose to mark them as deceased in Burke's Peerage: perhaps it was just a mistake, but perhaps it was really to protect her vulnerable daughters from exploitation. In the end, the tabloids found Katherine anyway, as hard as Fenella may have tried to prevent this.
The only reason we know about these cousins today is because of their royal relatives. Most everyone they lived with over the decades are lost to history. That is a big reason why I write this blog: I want these stories to be remembered. As long as Nerissa and Katherine Bowes-Lyon and Idonea, Rosemary, and Etheldreda Fane have their stories told, they will never be truly forgotten.
Sincerely,
ChristinaFurther Reading
Works Consulted
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Last Updated: 29 Sept. 2023
